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he holds multiple schismatic opinions
simultaneously
including the thought that
it is impossible
to be too pretentious
try as one might
he fixates vigorously
on the menu
to the point of embarrassment
and never actually
places his order
or hers
he excels in school
can't be beat
at filling out forms
registration forms his specialty
his skill increasing
geometrically over the years
and he is known, well-known
as a lover
his bedroom and bathroom mirrors
nearly worn out
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